Lisa’s & baby Teagan’s Empowered Birth

about Lisa:

I’m a radical unschooling mother of two (now 14 and 10), and owner of ‘Do

Life Right, Inc. publishing’. We specialize in books for and about realistic

homeschoolers of today. We live in southern Arizona on “Ten Quiet Acres” in

the desert.

 

www.DoLifeRightInc.com My publishing company

www.WrightOnTimeBooks.com My children’s chapter book series

www.DoLifeRight.com My personal blog

 

“The biggest thing that happened to me after having such an empowering birth

is that I finally realized that I can do anything. Since that experience,

every time I’ve been in a place of doubt, thinking that there was no way I

could accomplish something, I’ve turned inward and realized that not only

can I do anything I choose to do, but I can excel at anything I want to do.

Having the birth that I chose, changed my whole life. I’m thankful every

day for this.” -Lisa

Lisa’s Story…

It started out on Sunday, September 17th. I woke up starting to get the

mild crampy feeling that you get during your period. This feeling combined

with light bleeding came and went clear through Wednesday, the

20th.  On Wednesday, I had a midwife appointment. We did a belly cast

of my belly with my hands resting on it. Half way through putting the

gauze on, I declared that I was going to pass out. Everything had gone

black, so I sat and drank a bunch of water and ate part of a bagel.

Apparently this is a sign that labor is imminent. Also, during this

appointment, we decided to verify that the baby was head down (as the

baby had been breech just two weeks before) with an internal exam. I

was 3 cm dilated, 80% effaced and the baby was at -1 station. I wasn’t

too anxious by this news, but thrilled that my body had already started

labor (with no real pain yet).

 

We went out to lunch (to carbo load) after the midwife appointment and

during lunch I started having some “real” contractions. I had a

chiropractor’s appointment at 2PM, and we had a half an hour to spare,

so we drove around a bit. (And, it is true: contractions in cars are

much worse than contractions on land!) The contractions were sporadic

the whole time we were driving, and I hesitated to even call what I was

feeling labor (as that would put me “in labor” and that’s a lot of

performance pressure). Greg (my husband) said that we would just call it

“having some contractions” and not put the “labor” moniker on it.

 

I had my chiropractor appointment, then we all went home. Greg had been

planning to go into work that afternoon, but we decided that he would

stay home since I was feeling kind of “crampy and crappy”. To be

completely honest, I don’t really remember anything about that afternoon,

other than I think I tried to take a nap and I know that I took a VERY long

bath (probably about 3 hours long).

 

I sent Jessica (my sister who was living with us) out for Chinese food and

lavender and bananas around 5 PM and I continued to bathe. One of the

reason why we choose this apartment was because the bathtubs are

Garden/Roman tubs, and plenty big enough for a water birth if it ended up

that way. I had an appointment for an in-home massage already scheduled

for that evening at 7PM. I sent Greg out to rent “a bunch of movies”

because I was certain that I was in labor and wanted something to distract

me (I was certain that I would have another really long labor). I was

really surprised when he came back with a stack of six movies (he was set

for a really long labor). When the massage therapist showed up, my

contractions were fairly regular. I told her that I was fairly certain

that I was in labor, so to just give me a relaxing massage (and that she

didn’t need to avoid all the spots that can make a pregnant woman go into

labor). She’d never given a massage to a woman in labor before and I think

it made her a little nervous. It was an hour long massage and I

counted 10 contractions. After that, I went to bed but couldn’t sleep.

Jessica and Zoë played together and Greg cleaned up our home. Around 10,

we all went to bed and I sort-of slept until around midnight. Also, at

10PM, I called my midwife and told her that I thought that I was in labor

and I planned to go to sleep (if I could) and that I’d probably be calling

her in the middle of the night. The crampy feeling was much stronger then

and I went to take another bath. After an hour or so, I got out of the

bath, but still couldn’t sleep, so Greg brought the television into the

bedroom and we started to watch “French Kiss”. We actually got through a

good 3/4 of the movie before I declared (by throwing up in a bucket right

by the bed) that I had to get back in the bathtub. It was probably around

2AM or so by this time.

 

So, then we started the next phase of labor, the one where Greg kept fixing

me food and insisting that I eat at least a few bites (last time

around the biggest problem that I had was maternal dehydration and

exhaustion and we wanted to avoid that if at all possible). After

everything that I ate, I vomited. I tried bananas, scrambled eggs, toast,

honey sticks, herbal tea, Electrolyte “Smart Water”, and fried rice. Greg

kept telling me, “The more you drink, the quicker this will go.” That

helped a lot. The tea and the honey were the best coming back up,

seriously. This just got more and more serious (to me) and I began to

_really_ enjoy the wonders of the shower spray on my abdomen. At one

point, I got out of the bath and tried the birthing ball. It actually made

the contractions more intense, so I immediately got back in the water. The

buoyancy combined with the spray really helped the pain. Greg was really

concerned that the water would slow my labor down (like last time).  I kept

trying to only vomit in a bucket, but I didn’t always make it, so I kept

draining the tub and refilling it.  Being able to do this made us glad that

I was in the tub rather than a pool like we had originally intended.  Our

neighbors probably wondered just why we were taking so many showers in the

middle of the night…

 

Greg knew that things were getting more serious, and so he called the

midwife at 6:15AM.  He informed her that I had been vomiting, etc. and she

asked whether she needed to come right then, or wait a bit.  They agreed

that she would come at 7:30AM.  She came right at 8AM, Greg was just

starting to get a little panicky and he was about to call her again.

Jessica was just getting up at this time to get ready for school.  She saw

that things were getting serious, so she called into school to tell them

that she was going to be late.  Doreen (the midwife) came into the bathroom

(I was still in the bathtub) to check on me.  I asked her to please check

me and tell me that I was almost done.  To everyone’s (except me) surprise,

I was 9cm dilated and the bag was right there about to burst.  She said

that the baby’s head was so low that as soon as my water broke that the

baby would be born.  She asked me very nicely if I would please wait until

she got all of her equipment in and set up before I had the baby.  She

asked why I hadn’t called earlier and instead let her sleep, I said that I

was just a very nice person and that I expected to have some time left

still.  She asked whether or not I wanted the baby to be born in the water,

and I remember saying that I didn’t really care, I just wanted it over

with.  I always said that I didn’t want to give birth completely naked, but

I ended up doing just that.

 

Doreen called her assistants and enlisted Jessica’s help to bring in her

stuff as quickly as possible.  Somewhere in this time I remember hearing a

few loud screechy noises that ended up being the oxygen tank (that we never

needed).  I complained that it hurt my ears.  Right at 8:40, I heard and

FELT a really loud *POP*.  It was my water bag breaking.  It was SO

intense, and I had an overwhelming need to push.  I hollered “my water

broke and I need to push now”, Doreen was actually walking in the room

right at that second.  I also remember telling them to go and get Zoë right

away (she was sleeping in the other room).  Jessica got Zoë while I asked

“Do I really have to do this?  I just want to have a little break.”  :)  I

remember Greg stroking my hair a few times and that helped me relax a bit.

The pressure and “ring of fire” was very intense, and the baby was coming

REALLY fast.  We’d been planning on Greg catching, but it was happening so

fast that Doreen had to do it in order to make sure that I didn’t tear.

 

I think it was around this time that my moans started turning into

whimpering and a really odd sound sort of like a woodpecker makes.  I

remember Zoë saying, “You didn’t say that you were going to make that

noise, Mama, that’s a neat sound, how do you do it?”, kinda cute (she

was expecting lots of moans and crying).  Doreen told me to touch my

baby, and I flat out refused, and she made me.  At the time I was scared

of this intense pain lasting 3+ hours (like with Zoë), and I didn’t want

to feel a head that just went right back in…  I was absolutely shocked

when I did feel the baby’s head, as it was almost completely out.  I

pushed during contractions.  In between a contraction, Doreen told me to

go ahead and push that it would be a good time to.  I said, “But, I

don’t feel like pushing.  I just feel like a drink of water.”  That made

everyone chuckle silently, and I don’t think that I have ever had water

handed to me so fast in my entire life.  Greg was astounded that after

forcing me to drink all night that I would want something to drink right

when the baby was being actually born.

 

Next thing I knew, the baby’s head popped out, and the body IMMEDIATELY

followed.  I could feel every body part of the baby’s body as they came

out of me.  The time was 8:45AM, only 5 minutes since my water broke. It

was amazing.  It was like she was propelled out, she came so fast.  I

immediately grabbed her, just as she was being handed to me.  I was the

first to see that she was a girl, and just like Zoë, she had her private

parts hidden with the umbilical cord, so it was hard to see.  I told

everyone that it was a girl, then I double checked- we were all (except

Zoë) shocked, as we really thought that it was going to be a boy.  After

I double checked, I asked them to double check, too.  Of course, we were

all very thrilled, too.  Apgars 9 and 9.  Everyone couldn’t believe how

calm it all was, and the fact that I never screamed, I just sang a birth

song in a very low pitched voice stringing random syllables together.

 

The placenta was right there and I pushed it out within just a few

minutes of the birth.  I tried to get Teagan to breastfeed, but she

wasn’t interested.  The next 10-15 minutes just flew by to me, and the

next thing I knew Doreen was asking to get the umbilical cord ready to

be cut.  Zoë (with Greg’s help) cut the umbilical cord.  I was surprised

that it had stopped pulsing so quickly, but it had.  Zoë got to have a

good look at the placenta then, and Teagan and I were helped to get into

the bed.  I tried again to breastfeed, and she did a little, but she

still wasn’t horribly interested.  On the way to the bed, I saw myself

(with no clothes on, but a baby in my arms) in the bathroom mirror.  I

was astounded, as I didn’t look the slightest bit pregnant.  In fact, I

thought that I looked downright skinny!  I had only gained 14 pounds

during this pregnancy and I didn’t have a single new stretch mark

(plenty from my first pregnancy though, as I had gained 70 pounds).  I

don’t know how much I weighed right then (or now for that matter), but

this was a big ego boost for me.  I think that I am around my

prepregnancy weight and I am thrilled with my body for the first time

that I can ever remember.  This is amazing to me (that I don’t feel

overweight, and in fact feel the opposite), as I am not a light weight

(I am probably close to 180 right now).

 

Next thing I knew, it was 10:45AM and time to weigh and measure the baby

and get me to use the bathroom (which wasn’t too bad!).  Teagan Sage

Cottrell Bentley was 8 lbs. 8 ozs., 21.75 inches long, and her head was

13.5 inches around.  She was declared just perfect after a very thorough

physical exam (complete in-home exams done at 24 hours, 3 days, 5 days,

1 week, and 2 weeks, also).  We already knew that she was perfect

though, of course.  :)  During the last couple months of pregnancy, the

name “Sage” kept leaping out at me everywhere we went and I was fairly

determined that I wanted that in our baby’s name (maybe as a first name

for a boy), but Greg wasn’t so sure.  I was very thrilled when (at some

point in early labor), he looked at me and said, “Teagan Sage for a

girl?”.

 

Later that day, Jessica and Zoë made a homemade carrot cake to celebrate

the arrival of Teagan.  They wrote, “Happy Birth Day” on it and we sang

the Happy Birthday song to Teagan.  Zoë had already sung it to her

several times earlier.

 

What surprised me last time, and while I was prepared for it, still

surprised me again, was the intensity that the contractions continue to

be after labor.  I continued to have

strong-enough-to-have-to-moan-and-not-talk contractions for the next three

days, then milder ones every once in a while for the next two days.

 

All in all, this birth was an emotionally healing experience for me. Zoë’s

birth, while she was perfect and I had no pain medication, was traumatic

and devastating for me (I still don’t have the emotional strength to

actually write that birth story, but I am going to try to some day).  I

have scars from my first child’s birth that will never completely go away,

but at least now they aren’t staring me in the face every second of every

day.  I feel powerful, whole, and complete.  I feel like I truly can

accomplish anything that I want to, and I can do it in my own way.  With my

first, I had to please everyone else (family and medical people), and I

never got to please myself- ever.  I wasn’t allowed.  For me, our move was

part of what allowed me to have a wonderful birth experience this time

around.  I am in a new environment that I created myself, without all the

outside influences that I had before.  I am only two weeks postpartum and I

can’t emphasize enough how wonderful I feel both physically and

emotionally.  I feel like I finally got it right (even against outside and

inside forces) and I am a more whole person because of it.  Nothing in the

world, other than this, could have given me the self confidence that this

experience has given me.  Now if only I can continue this high feeling…

 

This really was a lovely birth.  Yet, I will fully admit that a couple

of my first thoughts after Teagan was born were: “Oh, no, it’s a girl

and she’ll have to go through all of this pain someday if she wants a

baby.”  and “Thank goodness this is over and I NEVER have to do this

ever again.”  I made Greg promise me that I would never have to do it

again, too.

 

Labor is intense, labor is horrible, labor is amazing.  I don’t know if

it is a good thing or a bad thing, but Zoë can’t stop talking about the

birth and how it will be when she is the one pushing out the baby.  I

think I made it look a little bit easier than it actually is.  In fact,

she says that she is going to have a baby when she is exactly my age and

it will be a water birth, too.  She is currently hoping to have twelve kids

(she’s hoping for all girls with the smallest one named Madeline).

 

Breastfeeding is going really well.  At day 3, I got really sore (and

bloody) nipples, my midwife suggested that I put more of the nipple into

her mouth and that was the cure.  It is amazing how different two babies

can be and also how much you forget (like how to breastfeed a newborn)

when you think that you could never possibly forget it.

 

In retrospect, one of the best things that I did in mental preparation

for this birth was to not plan on the birth (especially the actual

pushing of the baby out part) to go a particular way.  I had the

following all setup as labor possibilities: birthing stool, birthing

ball, bean bag (to lay across), big bathtub, shower, bed, rocking chair,

swimming pool (and, of course, things like walking were always an

option).  What was amazing was that the bathtub with the shower pouring

on my abdomen ended up working the best throughout the entire labor.  I

was just disappointed that I had to have the shower spray turned off for

the actual delivery- it felt SO wonderful!  I was also a bit disappointed

that the lights had to be turned on for the actual birth, during the labor

I only had three candles for lighting during the labor.  We had put up

white Christmas lights around the ceiling in the bedroom, had I labored and

delivered in the bedroom.  We’ve kept them up, as they have made a really

nice soft light for evenings with a baby.  Teagan really likes to stare at

them.  ”Birthing From Within” was definitely the book that helped me deal

with the emotional aspects of labor more than any other book that I have

read.  ”Active Birth” is the book that helped me with feeling physically

prepared (also taking time for yoga and massages).

 

-Lisa in AZ, mother to Zoë Miranda Cottrell Bentley 09.02.1996 and

Teagan Sage Cottrell Bentley 09.21.2000